I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
