Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
