on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
