Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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