; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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