Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
