If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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