my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
All the doctor said was why
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
