Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
