...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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