So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
