Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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