at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We are all done wearing pants today
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
