Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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