We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize