Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
