I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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