You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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