just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
