He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
