I'm sorry my penis didn't work
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize