she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
