I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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