i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
