If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
