They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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