would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
