my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
