You made me cry and you don't even care
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
