She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
