I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
