i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
