No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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