but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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