And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
