Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Porn is love you can see.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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