Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
