No, drunk sperm still make babies.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
