My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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