i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
