random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize