Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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