Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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