I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
