I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
