remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize