I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh god it's open bar.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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