i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
