we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize