i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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