can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I faked an abortion last night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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