Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
