I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
