How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize