I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
