Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
